im a teenager, & im filled with angst.
this is where i vent my anger, and release those inner tensions.
but,
im not sadistic.
i still love beautiful things.
& FYI,
my sister is beautiful.


now i shall just return to my books.

Have a great week ahead (:

Muthusami will be leaving for the hostel next weekend, or the weekend after.

we'll be heading down to Ikea to buy what she needs & i honestly, feel awkward about the whole situation.

Hi Reality Check; Sis Is Leaving For 4 Years.

when she's back I'll be gone.

so technically, say, 8 years.
we share almost everything.

16years on Earth we shared clothes since the day i was born.

we still share a room, a toilet, a camera, a hairdryer, the shampoo, the toothpaste, bags & clothes etc etc.

whatever, when she's gone im forced to be independent as well.

like Tiff,

i ll return to a specific place everyday to study and sleep, except the part that i have a living room/gambling den plus a kitchen, air-conditioner, television, piano blahblah (okay yes still more luxurious).

i ll have to stock up on Junkfood, & buy daily essentials (eg: Oreos/milk/milo) && toiletries on my own.

settle my meals alone out or pack it back (lets just hope Dad will start returning home earlier)

when Siti leaves in Sept i ll too have to do the housework & do the laundry.

thats when The Queen would return in rage, complaining that i have not been cleaning up but only creating the mess.

that is to say that i will have to serve her Khakis drinks when they come over,

set and unpack the Mahjong table.

Conclusion: Be the Maria & get Double the madness cause my sis isnt here to Share Tehhh Joy.

Awesome, all that to happen a month before O levels.

dont get me wrong, i do not blame my Sissy for moving out though its only her first year.

it ll be a good experience & it will only benefit her.

Living away from the Mahjong tiles & unreasonable comments is only fair.
Im sure she has had enough.

Me? i'll ta-han for a little while more, till im old enough to rebel & fight for what i think is right.

(but what is the point-

since The Queen can never be wrong)

heck that,

i have made up my mind.

After O levels i can travel down to NTU & crash her room.

working at the zoo during that period of time would be the best excuse & reasonable enough since i will not have to travel as much in the morn'.

Meanwhile, i'll just miss My Fav Sis' company,

lazing on the sofa,

those midnight wrestles, cooking meals/making potato salads,

eating out together,

dragging out of her bed. literally.

i may even miss her ol' granny nags.

its only now that i realised that almost everytime she goes out

she'd return with something for me,

she'd teach me Chemistry-

something i never appreciated.

its depressing to see her bed empty at night & in the morning,

her study table cleared,

& her clothes mmmmmisssssing zomgzx.

i asked Dad if he ll miss her;

apparenly he sounded quite sad when he heard about it.

Anyhow,

he said no lah-

cause he said someday we would both leave,

& he cant keep us by his side forever.

& that will be the day that he ll move to his Office to stay day for good.

i know i know, she can come home during the weekends,

but its not the same!

Dad, Jie,

I Wanna Come Home.

& so they say, its no big deal.

though we aint close like before,

you do have a place in my heart not to forget (:

lllloooooooveyaaaaaa

i ll be there for you-

these five words i swear to you.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, girl,

So cradle your head in your hands,

And breathe... just breathe.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

If you only try turning around.

Vyl/Jo, Jiayou!

who cares about those unfair Comments!

im part of you, indefinitely.

Some grass & sunshine between lessons will do you good (:

weeeeeekend!

annual sleepover before crosscountry,

whole of Saturday with Ore,

& the very last Zany Green Parade in tkg.

'do you work?'

'no.'

'do you have money?'

'no.'

'THATS IT. you're dumb, and im smart. you're small, and im big. you're wrong, AND IM RIGHT.'

-.-

i.want.dinner

goodnight

HELLO SUNSHINE, PLEASE SMILE. (:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things

i have trouble sleeping,

this is not me.

my sister might be leaving for the hostel anytime.

muthusami is leaving me to fend myself.

someone please load me with weapons.

well, it might only happen next year.

AND NEXT YEAR IS STILL TOO SOON.

Don, has been, very, very, naughty.

but, he is still, very, very, adorable.

i, have no dinner, again.

Physics, TYS, Miss Tee, is going to, HAMTAM me.

As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

'somebody needs to cut Eugene's head out to analyse'

'dont bother, he doesnt have a brain'

Friday was comical.

i was laughing at how a bubbletea's pearl landed among Cui's shoelaces,

while Tan was laughing at Cui's pleaselah expression,

& that attracted a pack of Ahbengs.

inclusive of one in rightleg-purple-leftleg-black skinnyjeans Aheng,

that pack of wolves thought we were laughing at them.

'EH TA MEN ZAI XIAO NI AH!!'

who knows, one came up to Oli;

'WO NA LI YI GE PENG YOU YAO REN SHI NI.'

'HUH.'

'KE YI GEI WO DIAN HUA HAO MA, MA?'

'NO!'

(one guy asked for Oli's number, if you didnt catch that.)

after that we fleed before anything else happens

cause they werent discussing what to do,

very very loudly.

'Oli, you should have just replied in Malay, or say: You no understand, me come from tar-land.(thailand)'

'if they were calling their Brothers to come and beat us up, do you think we can out run them?'

'NO?! i think ahbengs run damn fast. everyday chase people, they play basketball too! plus, we are so unfit now!'

Chia Tanya.

'pam, how old is your dad ah?'

'er, 49.'

'oh, so means, your parents got married, young? your mom gave birth to your sis at?'

'48 minus 20 equals, 28 lo.'

'HUH, Then why am i not 20?!'

'HUH?!'

'my mom gave birth to me at 20 too!'

'Tan! Your Mom is younger, Thats why!'

'i also never...'

'Omg, Tan just shut up, hahahaha.'

'wahlao! i also never think about how old my mom is WHAT!'

i love chiaTanya, she can cheer me up.

& i like Mochee's rabbit-teeth-face.

TOMORROW IS FRIDAY !!

One. Happy Birthday Mom.

Two. No one is home, Dad is working his ass off, Sis has a match at Kallang.

Three. Mom is STILL playing Mahjong.

Four. Sis ordered a birthday cake just for her, i went to collect it today, bought a present along with it.

Five. Mom asked what i was doing at home when i stepped in.

Six. She told me to bring the cake to school to share with my friends cause Aunties Elsie already bought one for her.

Seven. She Ignored Me When I Said Happy Birthday.

Eight. She started another round of Mahjong.

Nine. i came online to do a thumbnail collage.